Mirth

Little something I knocked up in about an hour. The joke is from a website. read at your own peril :O.

There was the slightly discordant twang of techno music coming from the next room. A smile crept across the man’s face as he awoke from his slumber. With a very small number of exceptions the smile would never falter. He sat up in bed. He was a handsome man with short black hair and blue eyes. There were smile lines on his face and his age was completely indeterminate. He could be anywhere from 20 to 40.




He swept his feet across the bed and slipped them into pink bunny slippers he had brought on a whim. Without exception everything this man did was on his whim. He giggled quietly as he looked down at his slippers. Wiggling his toes to make it appear that one slipper was talking to the other, and adopting a high falsetto voice, he told the following joke;



“Every night, Joe would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left. The next night, after he finished his 4th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left. The next night, after he finished his 1st beer, the doorbell rang again. The same six-foot cockroach was standing there. This time, he was kneed in the groin and hit behind the ear as he doubled over in pain. Then the big bug left. The fourth night Joe didn't drink at all. The doorbell rang. The cockroach was standing there. The bug beat the snot out of Joe and left him in a heap on the living room floor. The following day, Joe went to see his doctor. He explained the events of the preceding four nights. 'What can I do?' he pleaded. 'Not much' the doctor replied. 'There's just a nasty bug going around.”



The joke was by no means spectacular but the man didn’t seem to care. Nor did the fact that he was the one telling the jokes seem to faze him. He began to laugh so hard he fell of the bed and rolled around on the floor. Tears rolled around on his face. A cough interrupted him.



At the door to the bedroom stood a rather boring looking man in a suit looked down at the man on the floor laughing. He seemed to sigh, “Sir your newspaper, also remember you have a meeting with Arrogance later. “That’s today?” This news seemed to sober the man, he sighed. I suppose I’ll have to use the kettle today”. The man in the suit nodded, “that would be wise sir”.



An hour later. After the man managed to get dressed with only one major fit of hysterics, when he was deciding on his tie. The man walked into the bare kitchen/dining room. It was bare because even the slightest ornamentation might set the man off and he only came into here for one reason. Fishing around in one of the cupboards, he drew out a battered and blackened kettle. A joke occurred to the man, about kettles and a distressed pigeon, but he repressed it, with extreme difficulty, and instead concentrated on the kettle with all his might.



This kettle was evil. He thought. It had murdered his entire family. It was the sole cause of all the unhappiness in his life (there wasn’t very much). It had raped his true love and then beaten his dog to death with a… perhaps that was going too far. How could a kettle beat something to death? It doesn’t have hands.

This thought would have previously rendered the man incapable of thought or movement for several minutes, but not anymore. He straightened. His happiness was still there but it was now his to control and misuse as he saw fit. He grinned.

“Sir” The other man was back, “Are you finished?”

“Do you mean, Can I now walk down the street without bursting into gales of hearty laughter taking everyone else on the street with me? Because if so yes, I believe I can.”

The first man began to walk to the door out of the small group of rooms he called home. “Oh Gerald prepare everything for tonight’s revelry would you? I’ll likely be busy most of today”

“Of course sir”



The first man walked out the door. Onto the floor of a nightclub. He closed his eyes as his happiness swirled within him, resurgent at the memory of the previous night’s excitement.



The god Mirth walked out onto the road. He smelt the joy in the world. Today, he decided, would be a good day.